As I mentioned in my last post I have a lot of things I want to change going forward in 2017.
I've started making a list of some goals and things I want to achieve over this year and going forward in my life.
Honestly each year I say I want to be more organized, last year proved to be a busy year with lots of appointments and things to keep track of as I was weaning off my meds. I decided for 2017 I should try using a planner so that I can keep track of all my appointments because I have a bad habit of double booking them. The planner I bought for this is the Happy Planner, you can buy them at Michael's I really like all the space for writing in it and I also really like how there is a monthly overview page where you can write things you are
Loving that month.
(picture found online)
(starting to plan and decorate)
I was very negative last year, I completely let being diagnosed with a kidney disease take over my entire life. I let it make me feel like I would never get back to who I was before. It made me feel guilty that I couldn't do the things that I used to. So this year I planned that I would be more positive in my life. I have always believed that if you are positive about the things you want in your life then those things will happen to you. So after such a negative year; this is the year I'm going to make shit happen!
I want to make more time for myself. I want to designate time to do things I've always wanted to do but never made the time or pushed myself to do. Some of the things I want to do during "me" time is read more, I always love reading and go through phases where I will read 5 or 6 books and then I take an extended break from reading. I also am typically an early riser so as I get back into my work routine I want to be waking up about a half hour earlier than usual so that I can make time to do yoga, or mediate a couple of times a week and dedicate the other days to my blog, and writing posts.
Another thing I want to do this year and hopefully carry on into the future is try more recipes, and not just baking recipes... I really like to try and create my own recipes for both meals and desserts. I'd ideally like to put together a book of all my favourite recipe creations so I can have a collection of them.
Having a diagnosis of a "non-cureable" disease that affects your every day life, is something that really wakes you up. It really makes you want to focus on your health and do "all the right things" while still having fun and living your life. It has really made me want to be more active, eat better( but still eat cake too!), and look after my mental health and most importantly remember that it is okay to not be perfect and to have flaws, and that you can't do everything yourself no matter how much you try and be prepared. You will still need to lean on those that love you and get help from them every once and awhile!
My last goal I have set for 2017 is to finally make a YouTube video, this has been something I have been throwing around for the last few years. I enjoy making things, doing make up, trying new products and baking so I want to start making tutorials and review videos. I don't want to be intimidated by it anymore, and remind myself that the worse thing that can happen is that no one watches them, which isn't that bad because I will be no worse off and I would have still had the fun and excitement of creating the videos!
**This post may have a couple of things you consider TMI, but it was real life so I shared it**
2016 was a hard year... I know it was a hard year for a lot of people and I don't think that my happenings were any worse than anyone else's. I do know though that it was the worst year for me. The first couple months of 2016 were like any other year for me. I was still quite new in my job so I was still learning how it worked and it was exciting and rewarding (and still is). I was adjusting to life in a New Year and had all these goals and plans that I wanted to achieve. Then March hit and basically since then my life has been flipped upside down! I first had my appendix removed, only to discover the pain was actually a cyst on my ovary. That was all good and well and I was coping and finding a solution for dealing with that and any pain that came because of it.
My Doctor then ordered a bunch of blood work to do a routine check, as it hadn't been done in a while. This is when the real fun started. We started going through the pages of results. My iron was low basically anemic (this had never been an issue for me) so I was quite surprised, a few other things were off but nothing too alarming. Then we got to the kidney function...my kidney function was very low way too low for someone my age. He asked me if I noticed anything unusual when I urinated. I hadn't completely thought about it but since my appendix surgery my urine was an orange colour, I had thought this was just from the surgery and didn't think twice about it. This is why my iron was low I was passing blood in my urine more than someone usually would.
I was then referred to a Nephrologist, where he told me that basically till you are 30 you should have 100% kidney function, after 30 it drops 1% per year. So from this at 31 I should have only had a kidney function at 99%, at this point and time my kidney function was at about 47%. We decided that I would have a biopsy on my kidneys so we could see what was causing the drop in kidney function. While waiting for the appointment my urine went from orange to basically red it looked like I was peeing straight blood!! I finally went to the emergency room and was admitted to the hospital, they decided to do a rush biopsy so we could get me on some medication to get it under control.
It turns out my kidney function was at 20% and I was diagnosed with something called IgA nephropathy. It is an auto immune disease you can read more about it here if you would like to know more.
Of course being diagnosed with stage 4 kidney disease is a frightening thing, but I think the worst part of all of this was the medication. I had to take Prednisone which is a steroid that suppresses your immune system. (you can read more about it here). This medication has a TON of side effects, weight gain, shortness of breath, trouble thinking and mental health changes. These are just a few, and these few are some of the main ones I have had to deal with. Being on this medication I felt so tired or foggy. It affected my every day life, I couldn't remember every day tasks that I had been doing for years, I napped everyday sometimes even 2-3 times a day.
I started out at 60mg of the prednisone, and was weaned off of it taking my last dose on New Years Eve. This was one of the greatest days of 2016 for me, because I knew it was the start of a New Year and I was going to remain positive and overcome all of the body and mental changes that the medication and being diagnosed with kidney disease gave me.
So if you are wondering where I was the most of 2016, I spent the majority of it on my couch or in bed. I wanted to sleep most of it away for two reasons, I became depressed about the state of my life and also the medication made me extremely tired during the day and I slept like crap at night. I had no desire to socialize, I'd wake up everyday thinking about how I didn't want to be around any humans other than my husband. I no longer had the motivation to keep up with my blog even though I tried to force out a couple posts.
With that said I have lots of plans for 2017 and have a new outlook on life stay tuned to hear about them...
-M
